Getting closer....

I HATE this elimination diet. I'm going to be very upset if the scoping (on Jan 24th) doesn't show any progress. I think about food/recipes/cross contamination/ what's going on inside her throat 24 hours a day. It keeps me up at night. Is her cough a cough or are Eosinophils growing? Is she going to have to do the steroid treatment?  Mechanical dilation? Are the burrows shrinking? What's up with the scar tissue? I'm trying really hard to hold myself together right now but this has been an exhausting few months. She went through a couple weeks where she would choke on food because it "got stuck". Was that b/c she wasn't chewing good or scar tissue? The hardest part about this is not being able to see her esophagus anytime I want to....She is still taking the Nexium, which I really don't like giving her since once you start a proton pump inhibitor it's hard to get off it. She's been such a trooper, hasn't really complained. She did get upset about not being able to eat pizza a week ago, but she quickly bounced back. I'm afraid this is one of those "life challenges" that's forcing her to grow up faster than she should. She handles these responsibilities like a pro.  

So, the scoping is coming up....we're going to ask THAT DAY if we can add milk back in her diet. Her appointment w/ the clinic where she sees all the Dr's  (allergist, GI and Dietitian) isn't until Feb 8th, so they might tell me no, but i'm definitely asking. If it's a yes i'll be making her  pizza as soon as we get home! But that's where my biggest fears start - what if she has an allergic reaction? Will it just be hives or anaphylaxis?  We have the epi-pen but I really don't want to have to use it (but God knows I will jab that sucker into her if need be). 

So i've been obsessing over how we'll do this. First of all, Evan will have to be home - he remains calm in crisis, I tend to panic. We'll give her a bite of said food - stand over her, me with Benadryl, Evan with Epi-Pen, and watch......if 15 mins go by and nothing happens she can have a bigger bite, so on and so on. If the Dr's have a different approach they'll have to come to our house and participate in the first few bites with us. 

So i'm done with my panic attack - thanks for listening